Welcome to the WWDC 2013 Keynote

A work of probably-non-prophetic fiction.

“Hi guys, I’m so pleased to have you here. We’ve sold so many iPhones, so many iPads, and so many Macs. Isn’t that fantastic? We’re pretty happy about that. Just a few weeks ago, we announced that we’ve sold loads of apps as well. Look at this graph. iMessage is more popular than other messaging services. Look at this graph. That’s enough graphs.

We’re here today to look at two things: iOS and OS X. iOS looks really different doesn’t it? We don’t have a lot of new features, unfortunately, but we’re going to show you a few exciting additions. Siri has more functionality, we’re opening up more avenues for apps to share information, and we have a new Music service that’s not quite ready, but here’s the interface and basic concept. Our new music service is just going to be better than everyone else’s. And you know what? You’re going to be able to build this functionality into your apps.

Wow doesn’t this just look fantastic? We think everyone will be impressed with the new direction we’re taking, and we’re pretty sure that’ll slow the flow of people buying our competitors’ devices until September when we’re ready to announce our new product range. Today we’re announcing the release of iOS 7 beta through our Developer Program, we can’t wait to see the great things you’ll create. It’ll launch to the public in the fall.

Talking of a lack of new features, OS X 10.9 has over 1,000 improvements, most of which won’t be immediately apparent. We’re going to flatten out the look of OS X a little to prepare people for what will be a major change next year, and all of the iOS elements that we’ve introduced over the years will be reworked because people have grown bored with that look and feel. You can download a beta now, and it’ll launch to the public in six weeks. All Macs bought in the past few weeks can get a free upgrade, the rest of you will have to pay just $9.99.

About new Macs: we’re going to refresh our entire MacBook range with better processors, graphics, and thunderbolt, but not much else. Unfortunately, we kinda burned ourselves by announcing the new iMac way before we were ready to sell it, and because it’s an extremely intricate piece of technology we’re not ready to put the new processors in them yet.

Here’s something you’ll all love — but most people won’t really care about — after years of neglect, we’re going to change a few things about the Mac Pro. We’re moving away from Xeon processors onto regular Haswell chips. We’re also supporting the latest consumer graphics cards, as well as professional ones as always.

Finally, I have some great news to share with you. We introduced the Apple TV back in 2007, and it’s grown more popular every year. Today we’re announcing Apps for Apple TV. We’ve got a whole new SDK, which will be included in the iOS 7 beta we’re releasing today, that’ll let you create rich games and entertainment apps for the new Apple TV we’re launching this fall.

 
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